Col Ewe’s shameful crowd boost attempt

Dolly: Otherwise engaged

All At Sea has learned that Colchestaargh’s ambitious quest to half-fill their ground has plumbed new depths.

The signing of Tom Williams, married to page 3 model Nicola McLean, was a blatant attempt to entice local pervs in the hope she would turn up to matches.

We would suggest the club needs to reassess their target audience. Or perhaps Dolly the sheep was otherwise engaged.

The north Essex club closed one stand for the ‘Essex derby’ with Dagenham on Tuesday due to lack of interest.

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